Feelings and Connections Matter
Supporting Social Emotional Development of 1 to 2 Years
Your child has turned one! Children at this stage can experience diverse emotions; as a parent, have you noticed how he expresses different feelings? Research suggests that these social and emotional skills develop from birth, and they have lasting influence on children's performance in the other aspects, such as learning and behaviour.
Social and emotional development has the following components, which are interrelated, inseparable, and develop sequentially in line with children's overall cognitive development:
- Emotional awareness – involves recognising and understanding our own feelings and those of the others, as well as how the emotions and behaviours of ourselves and the other people affect each other
- Self-regulation – refers to the ability to express our feelings, needs and behaviours in appropriate ways
- Social interaction – includes getting along with the others, establishing and maintaining interpersonal relationships
A Closer Look at "Emotion"
We are all born with emotions, positive or negative, which are spontaneous responses that serve the functions of prompting us to take care of our needs, respond to our immediate situation, as well as communicate and connect with others. For instance, your child smiles and comes towards you happily when you return home, letting you know he is eager to be with you; when he feels nervous or even cries and clings to you as he meets strangers, you understand his needs for your company and guidance to cope with his anxiety. Regardless of the emotions a child expresses, they are neither right nor wrong.
Research suggests that negative emotions do not simply disappear through avoidance, denial or suppression, so learning to be aware, understand and embrace the emotions of ourselves and the others is important to our mental health. Before a child could regulate his feelings on his own, his caregivers can lay a solid foundation for his social, emotional and overall development by accepting and supporting him through all emotional ups and downs.
Keys to Support Social Emotional Development
Your child's sense of security is the foundation of healthy social and emotional development, which could be nurtured when you
- Provide a safe and loving environment where your child could explore and learn
- Encourage and help your child to recognise and regulate emotions
- Through play and everyday interactions, guide your child to develop social skills.
Social and Emotional Milestones
Let's take a look at your child's social and emotional abilities at different stages, so that you can respond more sensitively to his needs:
12 to 24 months
| Children can… | Parents may… |
|---|---|
| Displays more complex emotions, such as excitement, contentment, fear, jealousy, etc. | Pay more attention to your child's changes in facial expressions and factors that may trigger her emotions, and use simple words to label her feelings; read picture books on feelings together |
| Looks at you and claps her hands or smiles confidently when she feels proud of what she can do | To celebrate her accomplishments and share her satisfaction, you may clap with and praise her to show your approval and encouragement |
| Still struggles when she separates from you, sometimes she may even cry and ask you to return to her. Yet, she may become absorbed in her play when you are around, turning to you only when she needs you later | When your child feels secure, she focuses on playing and exploring, though emotionally she still needs you to watch over, accompany and comfort her. While you may be puzzled at times as she appears to be affectionate and becomes indifferent in the next moment, your acceptance and care offered duly upon her needs will help her feel more secure in you over time |
| Often says "No" to your commands, and may annoy you when she causes troubles, but these are in fact her way of exploring the world instead of deliberately acting against you | Try to figure out her underlying needs, and set some simple rules for her |
| After 18 months old, your child may become upset when you hold another child; she may cling to you or even try to push him away | While she is acting out of jealousy, she is also expressing her desire to have more of your attention. Describe her feelings and experiences to comfort her and teach her about these complex emotions |
24 to 36 months
| Children can… | Parents may… |
|---|---|
| Apart from expressing more complex emotions, your child's emotional changes may come more quickly and intensely | Pay attention to your child's changes in feelings, while these may happen rapidly, these emotions are not unpredictable as their intensity often increases from mild to strong. Try to label his feelings in simple words when he is experiencing mild emotions |
| Fears of certain situations or things, such as darkness and insects | Describe his emotions gently and calmly, e.g. "The bug scares you!", to show your understanding. Gradually expose him to what he fears, for instance, hold him closer to an insect that scares him and encourage him to observe it for a while. Avoid criticising, laughing at, or playing tricks with him using what scares him |
| Enjoys being around other children or watching other children play; starts to have simple interactions with other children. He may express similar feelings or try to comfort the other children when they are upset | Give him social opportunities and encourage him to play with other children. As he may not yet be able to follow social rules such as sharing and turn-taking, be ready to step in when needed to guide him in social interactions; praise him when he acts in friendly, helpful or caring ways |
| With his development in self-concept and limitation in perspective-taking, your child may seem self-centred. Besides, as his abilities improve, he may become more independent and headstrong, and show strong feelings when frustrated | Recognise and accept that your child is not yet capable of controlling his feelings and behaviours well at this stage, while you teach him to follow rules and regulate his emotions |
As the child grows, parents inevitably find it more challenging to handle her behaviours and emotions! However, by giving her appropriate guidance with love and patience, she will gradually learn to cooperate.
Refer to the relevant leaflets for more parenting tips: "Discipline Your Toddler in a Positive Way"and "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child from Birth".
If you have any concerns about your child's social and emotional development, please consult the Maternal and Child Health Centre (MCHC), your family doctor or paediatrician, or other health professionals.