How To Support the Mental Wellbeing of You and Your Child after a Critical Incident?
Common reactions in face of a critical incident:
- Emotions: shock, sadness, grief, anxiety; becoming irritable or numb, etc.
- Thoughts: confusion, indecisiveness, helplessness; guilty or self-blaming thoughts (e.g., 'I have done something wrong...'), etc.
- Daily routines: changes in sleep or appetite; reduced social interaction
- Encounters in everyday life, such as news or social media-related information may trigger unease or bring back certain memories
Even when facing the same event, reactions vary between individuals and may change over time.
Ways to soothe your emotions
To support your child and get through difficult times together, it is important to first care for your own emotional wellbeing. You may try the following ways:
- Attend to basic physical needs – Maintain a balanced diet, have adequate rest and sleep
- Plan relaxing activities – Make time for things that help you relax, like going for a walk or spending time with friends
- Give yourself some breathing room – Even if you are deeply concerned about the event, reduce your exposure to distressing information
- Seek support – Where possible, ask family members to assist with household chores or childcare
- Practise relaxation exercises, such as (available in Cantonese only):
Helping young children cope with critical incidents
Even if young children do not fully understand what is happening around them, they may still be affected, for instance, by witnessing news footage, overhearing conversations about the incident, or knowing someone who has been impacted. If you or other family members are deeply disturbed by the incident, it may also affect your child's emotions or behaviour. To look after your child's emotional wellbeing, you can:
Watch out for potential reactions to stressful events
- Emotional and behavioural signs – appear frightened, anxious or sad; become more clingy, irritable or uncooperative than usual; regress in behaviour (e.g., thumb-sucking, bedwetting); difficulty concentrating, etc.
- Physiological responses – changes in appetite or sleep quality
- Play or creative expression – repeatedly re-enact event-related scenarios in play or drawings
- Verbal expression – preschoolers may repeatedly ask questions or talk about the event, reflecting their concerns
These reactions are normal among children under stress. Unless such behaviours persist for two to four weeks and significantly interfere with daily life, excessive concern is unnecessary.
Helping Children Cope with Emotions
A close and trusting parent-child relationship, coupled with responsive care and support from parents, can help alleviate your child's stress responses. You may:
- Ensure your child feels cared for and loved
- Arrange more parent-child time to
- Promote sense of security – offer more hugs or physical contacts; maintain regular activities where possible (e.g., keeping routines); engage in familiar activities together (e.g., singing or reading); and provide advance notice before making changes to daily arrangements.
- Facilitate emotional expressions – listen attentively and patiently, guide your child to express their feelings and worries (e.g., by directly naming their emotions), and reassure them that these feelings are normal and accepted (e.g., 'Many children feel frightened when they see things like this,' 'With so much happening, you feel upset'). Avoid forcing your child to discuss their feelings.
- Pay attention to non-verbal expressions – young children may express emotions through play or drawing.
- Respond to children's questions – your child may have questions, such as 'What will happen next?' Avoid responding hastily; try to explore the emotions and concerns behind the questions, and respond according to the above suggestions.
- Communicate with children about the incident
- When your child is distressed, proactively discuss the event in an open and calm manner. This enhances their sense of security and gently corrects any misunderstandings.
- When discussing or sharing your feelings with your child, use language they can understand and offer some coping strategies to avoid leaving them feeling helpless or hopeless.
Seeking Professional Support
If you or your child encounter difficulties in adapting or exhibit emotional reactions (such as persistent sleep problems, significant changes in appetite, depressive mood, withdrawal, or difficulty concentrating), professional support is required. You may consult healthcare professionals or seek assistance from appropriate mental health or community services.